Reflections In Shiny Buildings

2 Mar

This morning, as is my custom, I went to Tim Hortons straight from the subway, to get my morning coffee (one of my morning coffees, anyway). From Tim Hortons, it is about a two-minute walk to the office – a walk that takes me past tall buildings with shiny, reflective exteriors. As I was walking, I glanced up and caught a reflection of myself.

I did not like what I saw.

I was walking along, shoulders hunched forward, head down, looking at the sidewalk right in front of my feet. It was a posture of utter dejection. The word defeated was written all over every inch of me.

I have been having a hard time lately. I have been going through a series of mini-crises, and even though I’ve always known that I can survive them, while they’re happening they leave me feeling absolutely steamrolled. There has been much stress and anxiety. I’ve been in the kind of state where the slightest kind word instantly makes my eyes spring a leak.

When I saw myself reflected in the building this morning, looking crushed by life, I thought to myself, Enough of this crap. I can’t be walking around looking like a wet breakfast. What kind of message does that portray to the world around me? And how can I possibly expect to build up my self-confidence when I cannot even walk down the road with my head held high?

Now, I cannot control all of the things that are going on in my life right now. But I can control the way I walk.  So immediately, I squared my shoulders and raised my eyes to face the world head-on.

I’ll be honest, it felt a little bit scary. But it also made me feel just a little bit stronger, a little bit more empowered.

I think I’ll do that every day from now on. When I’m walking down the road, or down the hallways at work, or wherever, I will not let my shoulders droop, and I will not be afraid to look the world square in the eye. Well, I might be a little afraid, but I’ll do it anyway.

I cannot help but think that simply making an effort to walk like a strong, confident person will help me to actually be a strong, confident person.

This too shall pass. Soon, the real me will be back. I might just be on my way already.


One Response to “Reflections In Shiny Buildings”

  1. Eva Fannon March 2, 2011 at 11:03 PM #

    Hang in there Kirsten! Thinking of you….and remember to just take it one day at a time.

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