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Twitter Tuesday: A Day Late (#thingsbetterthanSOPA)

18 Jan

The only reason I save blog posts about Twitter for Tuesdays is that the words Twitter and Tuesday happen to start with the same letter. If there’s nothing Tweetworthy happening on Tuesdays, I simply give Twitter Tuesday a miss until the following week.

If, on the other hand, the Tweetworthy stuff happens on Wednesdays, I write about it anyway, and then claim that Twitter Tuesday was a day late. Even if I’ve already posted to my blog on said Wednesday, about a topic that has nothing to do with Twitter. Or Wednesdays. Or, for that matter, Tuesdays.

Today, Twitter Tuesday is a day late. In keeping with the general theme of the day, the trending topic I’m following is… *drumroll please*… #thingsbetterthanSOPA.

For those who don’t know, SOPA is proposed anti-piracy legislation. There are fears that if the bill is passed, the Internet could be crippled by the American government taking sites offline. The seemingly overwhelming consensus is that SOPA – dubbed by many as Internet censorship – will not have the desired effect of protecting intellectual property. Instead, it will impede free speech and interfere with the flow of information. Although SOPA would be American legislation, it would have effects that stretch far beyond American borders.

The following tweets suggest that – well, anything is better than SOPA.

* Getting a prostate exam from Edward Scissorhands #thingsbetterthanSOPA (@browland1)

* #thingsbetterthanSOPA Bullying. Why doesn’t the government try to stop that, which affects a larger number of people and it’s more dangerous? (@thisKINGDarren)

* #thingsbetterthanSOPA river dancing bare foot in a bunch of lego blocks (@vivesmariano)

* #thingsbetterthanSOPA Bacon (@ERIC_CARTMAN)

* Masturbating with a cheese grater #thingsbetterthanSOPA (@thunt27)

* keeping up with the kardasians #thingsbetterthansopa (@ItsBennyBlanco)

*paper cuts between your fingers #thingsbetterthanSOPA (@AlwaysxTeen)

* #thingsbetterthanSOPA Status quo: One episode of MTV cribs is enough to show you that nobody is suffering from copyright infringement.

* #thingsbetterthanSOPA Harry bloody Potter (@JoRowlingNet)

* #thingsbetterthanSOPA Stabbing myself multiple times in the face with a fork (@lucky kpak)

* Standing on hot coal while reciting the alphabet #thingsbetterthanSOPA (@Mz_redhott88)

* #thingsbetterthanSOPA Slidingdown a banister of razorblades into a pool of rubbing alcohol (@WittleKayl)

* #ThingsbetterthanSOPA watching white paint dry (@Killin_Ninjas)

* being kicked in the nuts #thingsbetterthanSOPA (@SamEzraYoung)

* #thingsbetterthanSOPA being eaten by a duck. (@imquitegood)

What, in your opinion, is better than SOPA? What about things that are worse than SOPA?

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Twitter Tuesday: #IStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen

20 Dec

Welcome to today’s edition of Twitter Tuesday! Before we get started: anyone who believes that it’s a fat dude in a red suit who delivers your Christmas presents every year, please leave the room. If you stay, you might just get the shock of your life.

OK, now that we only have those who believe that the whole Santa story was cooked up by someone who was drinking (because what other explanation is there, really?) today’s trending topic is about the man himself.

Many of us believed in Santa at some point during our younger years. Some of us grew out of the belief as we got older and realized that laws of physics would make it impossible for a man of his girth to fit down a chimney. Others had a jolt of realization after some specific incident. For me, I had my first clue when I noticed one year that Santa was wearing Grandpa’s boots.  When I blurted out something about it, the grown-ups quickly made up a story about how Grandpa had merely lent his boots to Santa. We all accepted it, without even questioning why Grandpa wasn’t present.

A couple of years later, we were living in Connecticut, and went to Times Square on Christmas Eve. There, I saw Santa Claus ringing his bell, and I went up to say hi. To my utter consternation – bear in mind that I was seven – Santa asked me for money. That was the deal-breaker for me, the moment of my tearful realization.

Today, the folks over in Twitterland are sharing their own experiences with the hashtag #IStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen. Here’s what some of them have to say:

#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen when i noticed i was circumcised (@ImHiRez)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I realised that a man who breaks into my home & eats my cookies has no right to judge whether I’m good or bad (@jdizzaymusic)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I knew I didn’t have a chimney (@_kingsasha)
#IStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I noticed he and my mother had similar penmanship. (@owlcity)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen OMG SANTA DOESNT EXIST?!?!? 😦 (@kissingjonas)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen? This shouldn’t be trending. I am real. (@thesantaclaus)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I saw this trending 😥 thanks for crushing my dreams twitter. (@jackw25)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I realised it was just Dumbledore in a Santa suit. (@_loony_lovegood)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I saw him ringing a bell in front of Target asking for spare change (@allancozart)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I realised that a man who breaks into my home & eats my cookies has no right to judge whether I’m good or bad (@anonupdate)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I didn’t find Justin Bieber under my Christmas tree. (@selgomezbieber)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen i walked in on him having an affair with the tooth fairy (@will_beckman)
#IStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen my parents started saying he was on a budget. (@valbadassaldua)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen i got a Sega Saturn and it said made in japan (@phantom_sparx)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen No One Ate My Milk & Cookies (; (@x3singerx3)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I analyzed the shit out of it… At 7 years old. (@thebestperson)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen when I recognized the paunch of my uncle. (@berepg80)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen i found the presents under piles of laundry when i was 8… #AwfulHidingSkillsMom @lexxjelmm21)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen When My Kindergarten BestFriend Told Me Mrs.Clause Hit Him With a Chu Chu Train (@allegiantme_)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen my teacher said he blow up in the sky cuz the reindeer were moving really fast ._. (@rhiforeverreal)
#iStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I had a bar mitzvah (@not_owen_levy)

What’s your story? What was that moment at which you stopped believing in Santa?

Twitter Tuesday: #WorstHolidayStory

13 Dec

Today is Twitter Tuesday. This means I look for an interesting hashtag on Twitter and find some interesting tweets to go with that hashtag.

For the Twitter virgins out there, “hashtag” is really a fancy word for “conversation”. If you’re tweeting about, say, green bug-eyed monsters, you would include this in your tweet: #greenbugeyedmonsters.

Today, I came across a hashtag that is appropriate for this time of year. If you have anything to add to the list, leave me a comment!

#WorstHolidayStory:

#worstholidaystory the fact we now get in trouble for saying Merry CHRISTMAS well you know what? CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS! (@gnomedruid)

Getting a planner for the year 1998 in 2007, and a “L” charm when your name begins with “A” #worstholidaystory (@alliegoedecke)

#worstholidaystory on Xmas stuck in the middle of nowhere in a broken car, in the freezing cold,no signal, parents roaring at each other (@MissDianaSongsz)

Me “I flew in this wedding ring from Paris! Merry Xmas!” Her “I’m sleeping w/your Dad. And I’m pregnant. Happy New Year!” #worstholidaystory (@ryanpaulgibson)

went to Swiss Chalet for Christmas Eve dinner. By the time they served us, it was Christmas #WorstHolidayStory #SaddestDinner (@paddyjane)

Some weird green creature waltzed into my house and took all my presents #WorstHolidayStory (@justinkase3)

1 yr got busy wrapping presents, forgot to put names on them, then couldn’t remember who they were for #WorstholidayStory (@cindylee137)

The Monopoly incident of 1989. Left a family shattered. The mear mention of the game still sends shivers down the spine. #worstholidaystory (@suckitstupid)

the year my mother-in-law broke her hip we spent Xmas day in the emergency room #WorstHolidayStory (@avalen1)

Santa isn’t real?!? :’o #worstholidaystory (@datkidbrandon)

#worstholidaystory frosty the puddle: the effects of global warming. (@afilardz)

worst thing,I got turkey all stuffed and put it in oven only to realize 3hrs later I forgot to turn oven ON #WorstHolidayStory (@cindylee137)

#worstholidaystory I accidentally got drunk before attending evening service at church! THE SHAME! (@naphtalionline)

Go to see parents up north and come to find out they came south at the same time, so we missed each other. #worstholidaystory (@thomasflorida)

Running over wrapped presents as they fell out of the back of the vehicle on Christmas Eve. #worstholidaystory (#superheroalo)

And finally, a poignant tweet that reminds us to be safe as we celebrate whatever holiday we are celebrating.

I lost my sister to a drunk driver 2 Christmas’s ago on Christmas Day, She would have been 23 this year! #worstholidaystory (@amymariesantee)

Twitter Tuesday: #youmightbeanautismparentif

22 Nov

On Sunday evening I was wandering around in Twitterland seeing if anything interesting was going on, and I noticed a certain hashtag popping up in my timeline not once, not twice, but many time. For those who are not Twitterites like me, a hashtag is a topic that people are Tweeting about – kind of like a conversation. So if you’re tweeting about broccoli (and really, who would tweet about broccoli?) you would add the following to your tweet: #broccoli.

Anyway, the hashtag that was appearing on Sunday night was this: #youmightbeanautismparentif.

Well, this looked like fun! Autism parents were tweeting about some aspects of raising a child on the spectrum. Some of the tweets were poignant, some were downright hilarious, and every single one of them was true. So I thought I would share some with you. What follows is a sampling. To get the full picture, go to Twitter and search for the hashtag #youmightbeanautismparentif.

So here goes. You might be an autism parent if:

  • you start to write your coworkers a social story about why they shouldn’t use your stapler (@BartimusPrime1)
  • Your child is self-taught on both a PC & a MAC, preferring to operate both simultaneously (@theblondeview)
  • You celebrated and took a pic the first time your daughter drew on a wall. (@NationalAutism)
  • you know there are TOO MANY ways to end the sentence, “The bathroom is NOT a good place to…” (@FroggyPrinceMom)
  • you wouldn’t change your child for the world- but want often to change the World for your child (@helenhamill)
  • you have a swing. In the middle of your living room. (@RaisingASDKids)
  • one moment, you feel completely alone & the next, you’re a part of a large, passionate & supportive community. (@autismfather)
  • you are happy when your child gets in age appropriate trouble (@RaisingASDKids)
  • you constantly praise your kid for NOT peeing down the air vent (@laughinblues)
  • your kid just dropped a grape and now the ENTIRE day is ruined. (@WhacamoleLife)
  • your child is offended that Robin Hood called a big man “Little John” because that’s a lie. (@BobbiSheahan)
  • the Christmas Nativity scene on the mantle includes dozens of animals facing the same direction. (@LeftCoastJeff)

I made my own contributions to this thread. Here are a few of them. You might be an autism parent if:

  • your kid screams the roof off because the letter M on his computer keyboard broke.
  • you’ve ever had to defend your vaccination choices to complete strangers.
  • the dishwasher ALWAYS has to be closed and the living room door ALWAYS has to be open exactly 3.26384 inches.
  • cutting the cheese sandwich into triangles instead of squares starts World War III.

What do you think? Feel free to add to the list in the comments, or join the Twitter conversation and be sure to follow me @running4autism.